Ryan has ears

I've recently been made more aware than ever how little people understand Ryan. Please let me make two things very clear.

• He is not deaf. 
• He does understand the English language. 

When you mention what a burden caring for him must be, when you feel sorry for me (pardon me while I down some Gravol), when you tell me how special I must be for caring for the likes of him, I do not find it sympathetic. I find it very insulting to an amazing young man. I say that, but keep in mind that he is not only amazing because of how he's conquered the challenges that his disability poses. He's amazing because of his heart for others and for God. He's amazing because his sense of humour is well-timed and mischievous. Oh, good grief, he's amazing because he's my son! I have four amazing kids by birth, one by marriage, and two equally amazing grandkids. Get the picture? Let me spell this out for you. He's a human, just like the rest of my kids!

When you make any statement that implies Ryan is not a blessing to those around him, you hurt him deeply. I saw it in his body language when someone made one of the above statements. He had been interacting with me and we were teasing each other. When he heard the question, his feet were suddenly the best thing he could look at. Eye contact was not an option. It took several minutes to pull him out of the depression from the verbal slap in his face. I continued to tell him that he's not a burden, that he's awesome, fun, a goofball, etc.

Several family members had the same response. Perhaps we should ask a family member of yours what a challenge or burden you are. We won't ask you; we'll ask a family member in your presence and continue to talk as if you're not there, insisting that the spouse or child is deeply admired for loving the likes of you.

I understand that people want to be caring. Care for my son and recognize that he is your equal. I will try to be patient with you and educate you, but Mama Bear is losing her patience. Please treat Ryan with respect.